AN AUTHENTIC MEXICAN COOKOUT

Hey summer is rollin' around again.

I can tell because the celebrity chefs and Yuppie Food Nazi's are all doing shows on barbecuing. I want to get in my two cents worth before they manage to screw up another one of life's truly great little pleasures. Have you seen any of these jerks working over their ten thousand dollar backyard grills or a $2500 portable smoker?? You wanna give me a break here. One thing mankind has known since the discovery of fire is that meat cooked over an open flame tastes really good. And it's not complicated. You don't need to send off to some yuppie mail-order capitalist swine in rural Vermont for genuine first growth dogwood chips for that 'Authentic Yankee Smoke Flavor' Chips that cost about 15$ for a little potato chip size bag when you could just look in the yellow pages and have a whole cord of that exact same wood delivered to your house for a mere pittance.

Let me run down a brief history of my experience with back yard cookery.

Ahem!

My first cook out memories are of hot dogs jammed on to a stick and cooked over a campfire (and, believe me, a $10,000 grill could not make those hot dogs taste any better). Then teenage beach parties with hamburgers on a grill over a fire pit. Next, married with two little boys, cookouts on Sunday in Griffith Park (That's in Los Angeleez), usually chicken or ribs with some home-made BBQ sauce.

Mmmm, heavenly.

On these Sunday outings to Griffith Park or the Bronson Caves I quickly learned to make sure that we settled in next to a big Mexican family. Within a very few minutes my kids would be playing with their kids and I knew it wouldn't be long before I'd be eating Carne Asada and Carnitas and Tortillas and Fresh Salsa.

The next step in the cookout journey finds me pool-side in Marin County drinking Cristal and Dom Perignon with people I didn't like... lots of expensive cars and clothes and Peruvian Flake, lots of insecure people trying to show each other how hip they were. Some asshole in a a big funny white hat behind the grill going on and on about this great mail order barbecue accessory store he found in New Mexico and how he has them fly in this great dry rub for his beef roast - which he has been marinating for three days in a $100 a bottle balsamic vinegar marinade in an antique earthenware crock--- as if anybody gave a shit.

Anyway I'm now an old man and I have discovered two things about cookouts.

1. Nobody picnics as well as Mexicans.

and

2. For really great food all you need is some meat and a fire.

AN AUTHENTIC MEXICAN COOKOUT!!

Gentle reader,

you probably don't know this, but Cinco de Mayo is actually a bigger holiday in the US than it is in Mexico. Also, it pretty much signals the official start of the 'Backyard Cookout Season'. What follows is a menu and recipes for the best damn cookout you ever had. It is simple, informal and guaranteed to impress your guests. Here's the menu:

MESQUITE GRILLED PORK CARNITAS

These aren't really carnitas, since they are not fried in lard, but they look like carnitas and that's what I'm callin' them. The recipe is below and the look on your guest's faces when you tell them you cooked the meat in Coca-Cola --- is priceless.

RANCH STYLE BEANS

Nothin' fancy I serve them with plastic spoons, in a styrofoam cup. The recipe is on my web site (www.felixcabosanlucas.com)

GUACAMOLE & TORTILLA CHIPS

The recipe for the World's best Guacamole is also on the web site.

GRILLED GREEN ONIONS

instructions below...

BLACKENED ONIONS

instructions below...

SALSA MEXICANA

also called 'Salsa Fresca' or 'Pico de Gallo' Recipe on my web site

LIME WEDGES

Lots of lime wedges

HOT TORTILLAS

Lots of hot tortillas

A BIG CHUNK OF PORK

a1/2 lb per person will be more than enough

Bone in or boneless? - doesn't matter, get whatever is cheapest. The expensive cuts of meat are not expensive because they taste better. They cost more because they are leaner and look prettier and are more tender, however, tender doesn't matter because the way we're gonna cook it would make a cement block tender.

1 OR 2 ONIONS

Cut in quarters. You don't even have to peel them/it.

1 BUNCH OF CILANTRO

Stems and all You don't even have to chop it.

A HANDFUL OF FRESH CHILES

Jalapeno or serranos will be just fine

COKE OR PEPSI

No diet stuff please.

WATER

Put everything into a large covered pan and cover it with a 50/50 mix of water and cola (I know, I know. But... trust me! The cola has something in it that does something really nice to the meat.)

Now... bring it to a boil then turn it down to a simmer - put the cover on and simmer slowly 'til the meat is really, really tender. Probably a minimum of an hour and a half maybe more... check it. It is done when you can pull the meat apart with a fork. If the liquid boils away add more coke/water.

Take the pork out and Transfer it to your grill. If the grill is not hot yet - no big deal, the meat will hold for a long time. Put it over the hot part of the grill Ð you want the outside real brown and crispy. This step goes pretty quickly because the meat is already cooked. When itÕs good and crispy, chop the whole thing into bite size pieces and put it on a platter.

Garnish with some radish slices and chopped cilantro. Put some grilled green onions on top. Heat the tortillas on the grill, turning them often. Then have your guests put a handful of meat in a hot tortilla with some salsa and some guacamole Ð squeeze some lime on it and enjoy a real Mexican treat.

Please let me know how It turns out.

GRILLED GREEN ONIONS

I don't think I have ever been to a Mexican cook-out that didn't have grilled green onions. You just trim the root end off and throw them on the grill over some pretty hot coals. When they are all wilted and starting to brown they are ready to eat (finger food).

BLACKENED ONIONS

Take whole medium onions(white or yellow - it doesn't matter) Do not peel them, you're gonna cook them in the skins. Put them on the grill- not the very hottest part- and grill 'til they are really blackened, Then turn them over and grill the other side 'til blackened. When the onion is good and ugly, it's ready to eat. Your guests will have to be instructed, because the onions will be so burnt as to not even look like food.

but.....

.....while the skins were burning they were acting like aluminum foil . Break the onion open with a fork- the inside should be sweet and cooked to perfection. That's enough for a terrific cook-out, but when I do this one I like to also make some Salsa Verde (the recipe is on the recipes page).

I also put out some cucumber and jicama spears with chile powder and limes.

Another nice touch is corn grilled in the husk and a wash tub full of ice and Mexican beer and soft drinks.

I usuall serve Ceviche as well - great for hot weather But that recipe will have to wait 'til the next newsletter.....