Carnitas

Carnitas (literally translated as 'little meats') are also found in every part of Mexico. Even the smallest villages will usually have someone that makes carnitas- at least on the weekends.

As a main dish with a fresh salsa mexicana or salsa verde topped with come chopped cilantro, or chopped or shredded as a filling for tacos or quesadillas, carnitas are wonderfull. You can find lots of recipes for carnitas in cookbooks but if you have ever eaten really good carnitas all of these recipes will be a disappointment.

"Why?", you ask.

Well, I'm gonna tell you why. Carnitas are simply deep fried pork - crispy on the outside and fallin' off the bone tender and juicy on the inside. I love them and tried for years to make carnitas for my restaurant that were as good as they served in the big carnitas restaurants..... not possible.

The reason is that all the big carnitas places have huge cauldrons, big enough to fry pieces of pork the size of a turkey. The result is that by the time the outside is beautifully browned and crispy the inside is cooked just right. When you try to cook small amounts to order by the time the outside is brown and crispy the inside is overcooked and dry.

Hey, it's still good and if you've never had the real thing you'll probably like it a lot.

I stole this recipe from an old guy in Rosarita Beach - and while it's not exactly the same as the big guys, it's really good... and you don't have to deep fry a whole pig. It's not exactly health food ... but what the hey! This version is wonderful for summertime cookouts, way easier than ribs or chicken and most of the work is done in advance.

PARTS LIST

A big chunk of pork (I'd say 6 or 7 pounds minimum). Bone in or boneless? - doesn't matter, get whatever is cheapest. Lean or fatty? - fatty is probably better. Cheap or expensive? - the cheaper the better (the more expensive cuts such as loin is probably too lean and will tend to dry out).

1 or 2 onions Cut in quarters. You don't even have to peel them/it.

1 bunch of cilantro You don't even have to chop it.

a handful of fresh chiles Jalapeno or serranos will be just fine.

Coke or Pepsi - No diet stuff please.

water

LET'S DO IT!

Put everything into a large covered pan and cover it with a 50/50 mix of water and cola -- I know, I know, but trust me. The cola has something in it that does something really nice to the meat. Bring it to a boil then turn it down to a simmer - put the cover on and simmer slowly 'til the meat is really, really tender. Probably a minimum of an hour and a half maybe more... check it. If the liquid boils away add more coke/water. Take the pork out and let it cool. If you wrap it and keep it in the fridge it lasts for a long time.

So now that you have this big chunk of tender pork, how do you turn it into Carnitas? There's a couple of ways.

My favorite way is to just throw it on the BBQ - when it's all crispy and brown on one side turn it over and brown the other. Since it's already cooked it takes very little time. You want it real crispy on the outside. Chop it up and serve it with some hot corn and flour tortillas and some fresh Salsas and Guacamole and maybe some beans (recipe coming up next issue) some green onions that you've thrown on the barby and some radishes and ---- hey, baby you've got a real Mexican cookout going. The other way is to cut the pork into billiard ball size pieces and deep fry them 'til they're real crispy on the outside --- chop them into bite size pieces and serve them.

Guacamole Salsa

I think that this salsa is served at almost every taqueria (taco stand) in Mexico, north, south, east and west. It gives you the great taste of guacamole but it is really inexpensive to make..... easy too. As a matter of fact it is probably the easiest to make of all salsas and goes well with virtually everything. This should be a thin, pourable salsa - about as thick as a good, hearty split pea soup. Mild, medium or hot, you decide.

MILD

This one is so easy you don't need an ingredient list. Just take a ripe avocado and put it in a blender (after you peel it and take the pit out) and add water slowly 'til you have the right consistancy. Taste it and maybe add a little salt.

MEDIUM

Just the same as above but add a jalapeno or serrano chile to the blender.

HOT

The same as above but add more chiles.

A LITTLE FANCIER

1. Add a half an onion, a clove or two of garlic and some cilantro to the blender.

2. Add the above plus a couple of raw tomatillos (husked and washed).

MY FAVORITE

Take a half dozen tomatillos, a couple of whole jalapenos, half an onion and a couple of cloves of garlic --- put them in a small lidded pan with a little water. Let them cook slowly until the chiles and tomatillos have turned from a bright green to an olive drab. Let them cool and put them in the blender (save the liquid) with a ripe avocado or two. You want this salsa to be pourable so if it's too thick - thin it with the water you cooked the chiles in. This salsa is great on enchiladas - as a matter of fact it is always served over Enchiladas Suizas and the enchiladas that are served with 'Carne Asada ala Tampiqueno'

Hot Smoky Guacamole

PARTS LIST

a couple of avocados

some smoky hot oil - from the last newsletter. If you didn't make any, you should it's really good.

Let's get cooking!

Just mash the avocado with a little hot oil and some of the chile flakes from the bottom of the oil. Add a little salt and as far as I'm concerned you can claim it as an old family original.

Guacamole

This wonderful salad predates the European presence in the western hemisphere. It's beginnings are lost in pre-history. The word guacamole comes to us directly from the Aztecs. Guacamole is a combination of the Nahuatl (the Aztec language) words ahuacatl (avocado) and molli (mixture). I think it's safe to assume that Aztec Kings were eating this wonderful dish when my European ancestors were still painting their faces blue and throwing rocks at each other.

Guacamole is great as a dip with tortilla chips or as a salad or as a filling for hot corn or flour tortillas. It's super as a garnish with grilled beef or chicken, or try a dollop on your enchiladas or chimichangas, or as a spread on your burgers or chicken sandwich. I can't think of anything that guacamole does not go with.

If you've been reading these poor efforts of mine you know that I think there are no rules in cooking. If you like it and it's pretty and it tastes good..... yeah! So, what follows are not rules --- they are merely suggestions, but if you want real good authentic guacamole you'd better pay attention.

In Mexico the most common, and I think the best, Guacamole is just avocado mashed coarsely - you want lumps - don't blend it or even whisk it - add some finely chopped onion and tomato and you have just made yourself some really good guacamole. No one in the world can make it any better. Different? Sure. But not better.

But, you ask, "where are the chiles?" "and the garlic?" "and the salt?" "and the lemon juice and cilantro"? You can add any of these or all of these or none of these and still have great Guacamole. Experiment! At the restaurant I make the guacamole by adding Salsa Mexicana to mashed avocado and it's really good. If you're making some Mexican food you are probably going to have some salsas on the table and the food is generally spicy. I like to have a non-hot guacamole at the table so those who don't like it hot can still enjoy the ritual.

The Mexicans think that if you put the avocado pits in the guacamole it keeps it from turning color - I don't believe it but it looks really cool.

Others think that lemon or lime juice keeps it from turning - I don't believe that either but I like the taste. I think that whatever you do it's gonna start turning dark almost immediately so make it right before you use it.

PARTS LIST

2 ripe avocados ---- I think that in the USA, Haas avocados are the first choice. Those bright green, Florida avocados are really too watery to make good guacamole, but if that's all that's available - what the hey.

a half a small onion - chopped finely

1 small ripe tomato (I don't care what the food gurus say - you do not have to peel and seed the tomato.)

Mash the avocado coarsely, you want lumps - a fork works well or if you're making lots, a potato masher. Mix in the tomato and onion. There! You've made authentic guacamole.

SOME OTHER OPTIONS

Some finely chopped fresh jalapeño or serrano chiles Some chopped cilantro A little salt Some lime or lemon juice You could char the tomato in a dry pan - gives a nice smoky taste

A REALLY SLEAZY LITTLE TRICK

I have a Mexican friend La Paz who owns a little neighborhood restaurant. His prices are ridiculously low and yet he gives out enormous amounts of guacamole on virtually every plate. When I asked how he could afford to do that with his prices, he showed me how to make pretty good guacamole out of mashed potatoes. So - for those times when avocados are really expensive and a bunch of people that you don't really like that much are coming over to watch football or something..... here you go. You didn't hear this from me though..... I'll deny everything.

Get a bunch of mashed potatoes - really well mashed or the white lumps will give you away. Better yet, use instant. Add green food coloring a little at a time to the potatoes, stirring until you have about the right color. Add one mashed avocado with lots of real authentic green avocado lumps and lots of tomato, chiles, onion, cilantro, garlic and lime/lemon juice.

Even Emeril won't know.

Smoky Hot Oil

Gosh, another one of my favorites. Who'da thunk?

I don't serve this one at the restaurant because it really isn't very Mexican and I have so many others to put out. However I use it at home and I use it a lot. I cook in it. I use it on sandwiches instead of, or even with, mayonnaise. I use it barbecuing and I use it as a table salsa. Hell, I use it on most everything. It's got some heat and it's got a great smoky flavor. As near as I can tell it lasts forever and actually gets better as it ages. It calls for what are called in Mexico 'Chiles de Arbol'. Unless you have a store near you that specializes in Latin or Mexican food you will probably find them called just plain 'Dried Red Chiles'. These chilies are red in color - about the same diameter as a pencil and are from 1 to 2 inches long. These are the same dried chiles you find in a lot of Szechuan style food and they are the ones (I think) that you find on the table in shakers at your local Pizza Parlor. I'm just giving you the amounts for making a little bit, so if you hate it there's no big loss. Whenever you're working with dried chiles you always wind up with at least a few seeds laying around your counter. Put the seeds aside and when you have a bunch toss them somewhere in your yard and give them some occasional water. You'll probably wind up with some nice chile plants.

Parts List:

Chiles de Arbol... about a handful, seeds and all -with the stems removed

Some oil (I use regular old Corn oil or whatever is handy. If I had access to Sesame oil down here I would use it - I think that would be the best)

Let's get cooking!

Put the chiles in a frying pan over medium heat. Give the chiles an occasional shake, tossing them until they are a nice dark brown color.

I'll warn you that sometimes the chiles will give off a strong, strong eye burning aroma - a little like anti-riot gas or mace, especially if you cook them too hot.

So it might be a good idea to have a window open.

Anyway, when they're done let them cool and then run them through the blender. Don't blend them to death. You want flakes not powder.

Put the dried chiles into some sort of container and add the oil (enough to cover the chiles with a couple of inches of oil). The oil might be a little cloudy at first but if you let it settle for a few hours it will be nice and clear and a beautiful color.

It's ready to go almost immediately but gets better and better as it sits. If you made it too hot for your taste just add more oil until it's just right.

Okay - if you can't find the whole chiles, you can buy some 'Crushed Red Pepper' and toast it in the pan. If you do this you don't have to blend it, just add the oil.

If you are feeling really lazy don't even toast the chiles, just add oil and let it sit. It won't have the smoky flavor but it will be hot oil.

Let me know how it comes out.

Pineapple Chipotle Salsa

You're probably not going to believe this, but this is another favorite of mine.

I'm starting to figure out why I have as many as 40 salsas at the restaurant. They are all my favorite.

This salsa is easy, easy, easy to prepare and most folks have never had anything like it, so they're gonna think you're a real culinary genius because it's beautiful to look at and wonderful to taste. If you want to tell them that it's an old family recipe handed down from generation to generation and takes three weeks to prepare and you personally grew and hot smoked the chipotle chiles and had the organically grown pineapple air freighted in from Vera Cruz and the red peppers were personally selected by your grandfather in Tamalipas and picked during the full moon and blessed by the local parish priest and then oven roasted in an adobe kiln with rare Elephant garlic from Gilroy and marinated in a first crush extra virgin olive oil from a 2000 year old tree in Tuscany and aged in charred white oak vat in a cave in Bordeaux, go ahead, I won't tell.

Anyway, this salsa is great on any kind of pork, wonderful with barbecued chicken, dynamite plain with chips and makes great quesadillas with most any kind of cheese.

Once again I'm giving the ingredients for a relatively small amount just in case you think it really sucks. Oh, I'm giving you the quick version here - the salsa is actually a lot better if you first saute or pan roast the Red Pepper and Garlic.

Parts List:

1/2 a fresh Pineapple - chopped

1 Chipotle Chile en adobo -chopped fine

1 medium Red Pepper -seeds and stems removed - chopped

1 clove of Garlic -chopped fine

A couple Green Onions -chopped

1 or 2 teaspoons of toasted sesame seeds (optional -to sprinkle over the top)

LET'S DO IT!!!

If you have a whole pineapple, cut the top and bottom off and put them in the garbage or plant them or put them in your compost pile. Slice what's left of the pineapple in half - down through the core. Slice one of the halves in two - down through the core. The core can be tough and woody and tasteless so trim it off and put it where ever it was that you put the top and bottom. Peel the outer skin off of the 2 quarters. Now you don't have to be real anal about this step. It's all right if you don't get every last little bit of the skin off. Just get the real big eyes and any seriously brown spots. Chop the pineapple - don't blend it - and put it in a bowl. For making a small amount of salsa I don't think it's worth it to go through the hassle of dealing with 1 dried chipotle and besides we haven't yet dealt with the dried chiles in this stupid newsletter so open a small can of 'Chiles Chipotle en Adobo' and chop just one of the chiles very finely and add it to the bowl with the Pineapple along with some of the liquid from the can. Chop the clove of garlic and the Red Pepper put them in the bowl. Add the chopped green onions. You might have to add a little liquid but if you let it sit for a little while it will probably make its own liquid. Sprinkle the sesame seeds over it. Bingo, babycakes - you just made a great salsa. Taste it.

Too hot?

- add some more pinepple.

Not hot enough?

- add some more chile.

I repeat - This salsa (I think) is actually much better if you pan roast the Red Pepper with the Garlic instead of using raw. If you are barbecuing you can throw the peeled pineapple and seeded red pepper on the grill until they are a little charred and make the salsa while the chicken is cooking. Call it "Mama Maria's charred Pineapple and Red Pepper salsa", it's great too. Let me know how it turns out.

Salsa Muy Asada Roja

(loosely translated as "VERY CHARRED RED SALSA")

This is one of my favorite salsas. I know, I know, I say that about whatever salsa I'm working on at the time......but it's true. I like them all and at one time or another - depending on what I'm cooking or eating at the time - they're all my favorite. I definitely will not be giving you any recipes for salsas that I don't like. Anyway, you can find this salsa or a variation of this salsa virtually anywhere in Mexico. It's commonly used to make Huevos Rancheros and is found on the table in homes and taco stands as well as in fine restaurants. It's rich, deep reddish color and smoky-hot spiciness are a perfect companion to almost any main dish. I'm giving you the recipe to make just a small amount - so if you think it really sucks you don't have to toss a whole bunch. If you do like it - just double up on the recipe. It will keep well in the fridge.

Parts List:

2 large ripe tomatoes - or the equivalent amount of cherry or plum tomatoes (I think that the smaller tomatoes taste a whole lot better than the chemically ripened standard supermarket fare - it'll be even better if you have access to some real home grown vine-ripened beauties)

1 medium white or yellow onion - peeled and cut in quarters

a couple of cloves of garlic -- peeled

a couple of whole jalapeno chiles - stem removed

some chopped cilantro

a little salt to taste

a cast or nonstick frying pan......skillet?

Okay, let's rock 'n' roll:

Put the pan (I use a cast pan at home and a non-stick guy at work) on medium heat.

Put in the tomatoes (whole - you don't even have to remove the stem end), the quartered onion, the chiles and the garlic.

Go water the lawn or have a beer or write to your mother.

Check the concoction, and when the bottoms of everything are burnt (not browned to a golden color - but BURNT) turn it all over and burn the other side.

When it is all burnt deglaze the pan with a little water (fancy celebrity chef talk for "pour a little water into the hot pan and scrape up all the burnt parts that are sticking to the pan 'cause that's where a lot of the great smoky flavor is").

When it's cooled down pour the whole thing into a blender -water, smoked bits and all. Blend it, but don't blend it too much - you want it to have a little chunky texture. Taste it and add a little salt if you like. Then add some finally chopped cilantro and you have just made a really bitchin' little salsa.

If the salsa is too thin -well next time you'll know not to use so much water. If it's too thick - just add a little water. If it's too smoky tasting - next time don't burn it so damn much. If you like it but it's too hot - make some more without the chiles and add it to what you already have.

Let me know how it turns out.

Cucumber Cilantro Salsa

This is one of the most popular salsas at the restaurant. And it is what I call a 'BASIC'. Once you have this one down - with just slight variations in ingredients you can make dozens of great salsas. After the recipe I'm gonna give you some of the many variations. We are constantly changing our salsa selection at the restaurant but this is one that we always have on hand....by popular demand. It's real popular for a number of reasons:

1: It has no chiles, so folks that don't like - or can't eat - the fiery stuff still get to enjoy the ritual....even little kids can enjoy it.

2: It tastes really good.

3: It actually seems to work to cool your mouth off after you get a bite of something too hot. You'll notice that I play it pretty loose with the amounts of ingredients - that's on purpose. As I said this is not science - the amounts just don't matter very much. As a matter of fact if you stick to exact measurements it won't be as good - because some lemons/limes are sweeter/more sour than others.....sometimes the cilantro is stronger tasting than other times. So as you make the salsa - taste the salsa and adjust it to taste the way you like it. It just doesn't make any difference if it's a little more or less lemony. Also I'm giving you instructions for making a very small batch if you like it you can just double up on the ingredients and if you hate it you haven't lost much. You really should make and try a batch before you do a whole bunch and serve it to your friends. This salsa is great on chips ..... it's wonderful as a refreshing substitute for the same old boring tartar sauce and it's absolutely great on anything breaded and fried from shrimp and fish to fried chicken, jalapeno poppers or chicken fried steak. This one is pretty much a no-brainer but it's really cool and refreshing - perfect for summer time fare. Here's what you're gonna need.

Parts list:

1 cucumber -- peeled

1 cup (or so) sour cream

1 bunch of cilantro

a couple of lemons or limes

a little salt - if you think it needs it

okay - let's rock and roll:

Chop the cucumber and put it in a bowl. Now the food experts all tell you to scoop the seeds out. Nonsense! Use the whole thing. I slice the cucumber into thin strips the long way first - makes for easier chopping. Add the sour cream - one big spoonful at a time...stir. Look at it. Do you like the consistency? Hey, add some more sour cream... Now squeeze a lemon or a lime into the bowl...taste it. You want it to be lemony/limey, if it's not, squeeze another one. Chop the cilantro pretty fine and add it to the bowl.....stir it around, taste it - add some salt if you think it needs it, sprinkle something green (chives, parsley, cilantro, green onion - whatever) over it......... and bingo! You have a great, refreshing salsa. Easy, huh?

Variations:

1: Thin the salsa out with some milk and you have a wonderful salad dressing.

2: Use fresh or dried whole tarragon instead of cilantro and add some buttermilk, or for that matter regular milk, and you have 'Aunt Maggie's Tarragon Buttermilk Ranch Dressing" (if you use the dried tarragon - let it sit for a while before using it to let the flavor of the herb spread a little).

3: Take a table spoon or two of the salsa and put it in the blender with a jalapeno chile - give it a spin or two and add it back into the bowl. Taste it. Not hot enough? Do it again. Too hot? Add some more sour cream, cucumber, and lemon/lime.

4: Put the whole thing into the blender and whip it up good. It'll taste the same but it will be a real pretty green color. Go ahead and call it your 'Secret Cucumber and Cilantro Green Goddess Dressing" I won't tell.

5: Put a couple of cloves of garlic into the blender with a little of the sour cream and beat it up good -- add it to the salsa/dressing and make up a name for it.

6: If you want to use it in place of Tartar Sauce for fried fish - add some toasted slivered almonds and call it "Mom's Cucumber Cilantro Tartar Sauce Amandine"

7: Slice the cucumber into thin rounds instead of chopping it - add some very thinly sliced onion rings and a touch of some vinegar and serve it as a salad.

8: Use unflavored yogurt instead of sour cream and dill instead of cilantro .

9: Make a chicken salad - the best you've ever tasted - by using tarragon instead of cilantro and cutting the cucumber into bite sized chunks. Add cooked chicken cut into the same size as the cucumber and serve it in a half an avocado on top of a mixed green salad. It's incredible, easy too.

10: If you use yogurt and dill - try adding some cayenne pepper. Very Indian.

So go ahead, fool around with this one, and if you come up with some more tasty variations - send them along. I'll print them up. Maybe with your help we can put some of these high priced waddies out of business.

Salsa Mexicana

First, forget everything you've seen the celebrity chefs do on TV........ you don't need a processor or any exotic ingredients. Once you have the ingredients ready it will take you 5 minutes or so to make salsa that is just as good or better than that made by those cooking gurus. The key ingredient is the tomatoes --you want the brightest, reddest ones around. I've found that generally speaking, cherry tomatoes or plum tomatoes have more taste than the usual super market fare. Whatever kind of onion you use, the salsa will taste great --but white onions are traditional and look the prettiest. We'll start out with the basic salsa and then I'll give you a bunch of variations

Parts List:

3 Bright red medium sized tomatoes

1 Medium sized onion

1 Jalapeno chile

A little bitty salt

What you do next:

Chop the tomatoes and put them in a bowl. Chop 1/2 the onion and add it to the bowl. Look at it. Do you like the color? Mexicans generally do not use much onion. I like a little more onion myself. If the salsa is pleasing to the eye, great. If it looks like it needs a little more white --chop the rest of the onion and add it to the bowl. Now chop the chile very fine and add it to the bowl. Add some salt to taste and stir. If the tomatoes aren't very juicy you might want to add a little water. There, you've made Salsa Mexicana and nobody in the whole world can make it any better than you can.

Variations:

1: Squeeze a lime or lemon in it. If it's the time of year when lemons and limes aren't very juicy --soak them in hot water for 10 or 15 minutes you'll get 2 or 3 times the juice.

2: Add a clove or two of chopped garlic. If you use garlic I think you might need to add some water. Not much, just enough to make the salsa real juicy. The liquid will help to spread the garlic flavor throughout the salsa instead of just having little bits of garlic bopping around.

3: Add some chopped cilantro. If you are going to use cilantro in the salsa - which I highly recommend - add it at the very last minute because cilantro is much better when it is freshly chopped. Also, if you are planning to have salsa left over try to only add the cilantro to what you are going to use right away. The cilantro doesn't age well in the refrigerator.

4: Chop a firm avocado into the salsa. You don't want a mushy avocado, you want an avocado that is firm enough to chop and keep its shape in the salsa.

5: Add all of the above. I think that this is the very finest version of Salsa Mexicana around. Your friends will be amazed at your culinary expertise.

Oooops, I almost forgot. Please don't use a blender or food processor on this salsa. It realy screws up the texture.

Add some oregano. Please use whole or fresh oregano - the ground oregano just ain't the same. Oregano is a very widly used herb in Mexico.

Instead of chopping the onion slice it into thin rings and cut the tomato into larger pieces (about the size of a marble). Use some vinegar and a little oil instead of lime juice and add about a teaspoon of sugar and some oregano and cilantro or parsley.

The salsa's been in the fridge for a couple of days and you're afraid it's gonna turn into a science experiment ..... Oh, what to do, what to do? Put it in a pan and cover it with water and simmer it for 10 or 15 minutes. Let it cool and put it through the blender. Let it cool and bingo! You've just made a cooked tomato salsa. Way better than the commercial taco salsas. Garnish it with some fresh cilantro and put a bowl on the table. It's also great as an enchilada sauce or for huevos rancheros. Or you can use that old salsa to make Huevos Mexicanas (Mexican Eggs). Just add a table spoon or two to some beaten eggs and scramble them like you normally would. If you do this be sure to not add to much of the liquid to the eggs - makes them not want to set up right. Or you could take the old salsa and add it to some mashed (not blended) avocado for some great Guacamole.

If you add some sour cream and some chicken or vegetable stock or, for that matter tomato juice or even V8 to fresh salsa mexicana and serve it in a bowl garnished with a couple of avocado slices and a sprig of cilantro you have some world class Gazpacho (a cold Spanish soup). An absolutely wonderful meal starter in the summer. And it sounds so exotic..... GAZPACHO. Or you can just add sour cream to the old salsa and use it as a dip for tortilla chips or fresh vegetables -- just garnish it with sliced radishes or chopped cilantro, parsley or green onion.

Virtually every "food expert" will tell you that you have to use this salsa immediately - that it won't last in the refrigerator. Oh, bullshit! The next time you're in the super market take a look in the deli case. Row after row of fresh salsas (no preservatives) with pull dates of a week or ten days. I guarantee you that if commercial salsas will last in the fridge, so will yours. Is the salsa better when it's real fresh? You bet, but day old or two day old homemade salsa is still way better than anything you are gonna get at the market. Remember, there's power in numbers. So send this to a friend or if you don't like it send it to an enemy and when there are enough of us we can destroy the whole canned salsa industry - discredit all those celebrity chefs and move on to bigger and better things. Then maybe we can do something about the systematic dismantling of the government and its sale to the highest bidder or maybe we can start a cult. I understand there's big bucks in cults.

Yeah, that's it, a salsa cult.

Hot Carrots

There's about a million mexican cookbooks on the market — lots of pretty pictures — exotic ingredients that you order by computer from some email Yuppie food Nazi in a small village outside of Santa Fe, with a kitchen that would put Betty Crocker to shame — Convection ovens , microwaves, ricers, dicers, slicers, presses, smokers, processors, food mills, rotisseries, corers, parers, seeders, pressure cookers, poachers, broilers, boilers and steamers --- hell, if you have all that stuff and know how to use it, you probably don't need to read this recipe.

But if you just want to learn how to make some Hot Carrots , you know like you see on the table in almost every single Mexican restaurant, read on...

Parts:

A dozen or so carrots

cleaned and sliced into 1/4 inch strips —I think they look prettier cut on the diagonal.

6 or so Jalapeño Chiles

cleaned and sliced into strips the long way — I leave the stems on — makes it look authentic.

Two Medium Onions

peeled, cut in half and sliced the same thickness as the carrots

3 or 4 Bay Leaves

Dried Oregano

1 teaspoon (whole not ground)

White Vinegar

1 cup (go ahead use the cheapest stuff you can find)

Water

2 cups

So here's what you do:

Put everything except the Oregano into a pot ( It's best to use a stainless, cast or coated pan because the vinegar may discolor some cookwear).

If there is not enough liquid to cover, add more-----1 part vinegar to 2 parts water---bring to a boil and simmer for a few minutes.

Turn off the stove, add the oregano, put a lid on it and let it cool.

Bingo, Hot Carrots!

If the Carrots are too crunchy for your taste you can bring them back to a boil. If they are too mushy --- hey, next time don't simmer them so damn long.

These Carrots last about forever in the fridge, and the longer they sit, the hotter they get.

Variations:

1. Leave out the Carrots and just try it with a half dozen sliced Onions — but add a slice or two or three of beet and a couple of tablespoons of sugar — when it's cooled take out the beets and you have some very pretty spicy pickled Onions. Great on Tacos, Tostadas,Burgers and Grilled Chicken Sandwiches.

2. When I make the Carrots at home, after they cool I add some peeled Hard Boiled Eggs. In a week or so I have some Hot Pickled Eggs.

3. Put a whole bunch of peeled Garlic Cloves or unpeeled for that matter in with the Carrots.

4. It works with Carrots — it also works with Cauliflower, Green Beans, Zucchini, Red and Green Peppers and probably a lot of other stuff I haven't thought of.