What the hell is a chimichanga?

If you’re from the southwest or the west coast, you probably know the answer, but if you are visiting from the south, the east coast or the mid-west you may be puzzled by a lot of the things you encounter on menus in Cabo. For example burritos, quesadillas, sincronizadas and chimichangas are all described as something or other in a flour tortilla, yet they are very, very different.

BURRITO

A burrito is nothing more than a heated flour tortilla rolled into a tubular shape around a filling of some sort. For Breakfast maybe some eggs scrambled with chorizo or bacon and chiles. For lunch they usually contain beans, some meat and/or cheese and salsa. They can be picked up and eaten like a sandwich. As a matter of fact Blue collar workers often pack them for lunch.

QUESADILLA

If you take that same flour tortilla, lay it flat, cover one half with cheese(and whatever else you want…chicken, chiles, whatever) then fold it closed and heat it on a grill or fry it …. you have a quesadilla. A flour tortilla heated on a grill is a little like Pita bread, but if you fry it in a little oil it gets crispy, almost pastry like. Which leads us to

CHIMICHANGA

Take that same flour tortilla - lay it flat and put some sort of filling right in the center, then fold the top of the tortilla over the filling then fold up the bottom, then the left and right and you should have what looks like a little closed package which you then proceed to fry in lard, butter or vegetable oil. Remember to fry it with the folded side down first so it doesn’t open and spill the filling into the pan. Fry it until it is golden brown, but not burnt, then turn it over and fry the other side. You have just made a chimichanga. I think a good basic filling for beginners is a spoonful of sour cream, some grated cheese and a couple of strips of green chiles. Okay, but what the hell is a sincronizada??

SINCRONIZADA

A sincronizada is simply a flour tortilla laid flat and covered with some sort of filling (the most common in Mexico is probably ham &cheese) then another flour tortilla is placed on top – just like a sandwich - then grilled or fried top and bottom It is then sliced into wedges like a pizza and eaten with the fingers. This can make a pretty elegant appetizer – at the restaurant we serve a sincronizada made with smoked tuna, green onions and jack cheese….. all the tourists think it’s a fancy high tone dish.

PINEAPPLE CHIPOTLE CHICKEN QUESADILLAS

This is something you can do with left-over chicken , and it’s really good—easy to make too. Just spread some shredded or chopped chicken on one half of a flour tortilla- add some grated jack cheese (just a little-we don’t want a big chewy mass of cheese) and some pineapple salsa. Fold the other half over and fry in a little oil. Yeah, but I don’t have any pineapple salsa!! No problem.

First things first...

PINEAPPLE CHIPOTLE SALSA

This salsa is easy, easy, easy to prepare and most folks have never had anything like it, so they're gonna think you're a real culinary genius because it's beautiful to look at and wonderful to taste. If you want to tell them that it's an old family recipe handed down from generation to generation and takes three weeks to prepare and you personally grew and hot smoked the chipotle chiles and had the organically grown pineapple air freighted in from Vera Cruz and the red peppers were personally selected by your grandfather in Tamalipas and picked during the full moon and blessed by the local parish priest and then oven roasted in an adobe kiln with rare Elephant garlic from Gilroy and marinated in a first crush extra virgin olive oil from a 2000 year old tree in Tuscany and aged in charred white oak vat in a cave in Bordeaux, go ahead, I won't tell. Anyway, this salsa is great on any kind of pork, wonderful with barbecued chicken, dynamite plain with

chips and makes great quesadillas with most any kind of cheese. I'm giving the ingredients for a relatively small amount just in case you think it really sucks. Oh, I'm giving you the quick version here – the salsa is actually a lot better if you first saute or pan roast the Red Pepper and Garlic.

1/2 A FRESH PINEAPPLE

chopped

1 CHIPOTLE CHILE en ADOBO

chopped fine

1 MEDIUM RED PEPPER

seeds and stems removed - chopped

1 CLOVE OF GARLIC

chopped fine

A COUPLE OF GREEN ONIONS

chopped

1 or 2 TEASPOONS OF SESAME SEEDS

(optional –to sprinkle over the top)

If you have a whole pineapple, cut the top and bottom off and put them in the garbage or plant them or put them in your compost pile. Slice what's left of the pineapple in half - down through the core. Slice one of the halves in two - down through the core. The core can be tough and woody and tasteless so trim it off and put it where ever it was that you put the top and bottom. Peel the outer skin off of the 2 quarters. Now you don't have to be real anal about this step. It's all right if you don't get every last little bit of the skin off. Just get the real big eyes and any seriously brown spots. Chop the pineapple - don't blend it - and put it in a bowl. For making a small amount of salsa I don't think it's worth it to go through the hassle of dealing with 1 dried chipotle so Open a small can of 'Chiles Chipotle en Adobo' and chop just one of the chiles very finely and add it to the bowl with the Pineapple along with some of the liquid from the can. Add the chopped green onions. You might have to add a little liquid but if you let it sit for a little while it will probably make its own liquid. Sprinkle the sesame seeds over it. Bingo, babycakes - you just made a great salsa. TASTE IT!! Too hot? - add some more pineapple. Not hot enough? - add some more chile. I repeat - This salsa (I think) is actually much better if you flame roast the Red Pepper ( see my web site www.felixcabosanlucas.com – click on ‘recipes’ and then click on ‘flame roasted peppers) with the Garlic instead of using raw. If you are barbecuing you can throw the peeled pineapple and seeded red pepper on the grill until they ‘re a little charred and make the salsa while the chicken is cooking. Call it "Mama Maria's charred Pineapple and Red Pepper salsa", it's great too.

Let me know how it turns out.

Ceviche

In the last issue I explained that the computer gods ate one of my newsletters, and asked if any of you happened to save it. I fully expected no response. Boy was I wrong. I wasn't sure anybody even read the stupid thing much less saved it but I have been inundated with copies. Thank you very much. You're wonderful! Anytime any of you make it down to Cabo just introduce yourself to my son or me and we'll pop for a round of great Margaritas--unless of course I'm off on a book tour or selling my autographed Bobble-head Dolls or something

After all these years of viciously attacking all those self proclaimed 'Celebrity Chefs" as self aggrandizing idiots who don't care about anything but their fame and the sale of their next cook book, an embarrassing situation may be headed my way. There are 2 new cook books coming out that will be including some of my recipes, and this fall a new Glossy high-tone tourist Mag will be doing a cover article on one of my Cabo Restaurants (Felix'). In addition, the prestigous food Magazine 'CHILE PEPPER', in their upcoming annual "SALSA' issue, will be doing a profile of a 'celebrity Chef--'THE SALSA KING'(me). They are also doing an article on the restaurant and including a handful of my recipes.....Sheeesh!, I might be turning in to one of those jerks I've been attacking for all these years. Hey, anybody want to buy a cook-book??.......or maybe a line of 'Felix' cookwear??....I'm thinkin' NIKE or ADIDAS might have an endorsement deal for me.

I'm gonna try really hard to keep all this from going to my head and maybe you can help me. Keep looking for any sign that I'm getting uppity or that I'm letting any of this go to my head. If you notice any changes in my style or attitude let me know by email-- addressed to 'THE SALSA KING' (his-royal-highness@salsaking.org). The proper salutation to use is 'SIRE' or'YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS'. Of course I won't be answering your email personally--I'm going to be very busy shopping for a 'PORSCHE' and arranging a 'TV COOKING SHOW' and a 'BOOK TOUR'-- but not to worry, I'll have one of my lackeys or hangers-on get back to you.

Okay, let's make some Ceviche

(Pronounced say-VEE-chay)

Ceviche(fresh fish marinated in lime juice) is probably the most popular seafood dish in Mexico, at least among the Mexicans. It is eaten in every part of the country. Street vendors, taco stands, food carts, cantinas, fancy restaurants and hotels all have their own versions of this uniquely Mexican treat. At Felix' when a tourist brings in their catch for us to prepare, we always make some ceviche as an appetizer and they always love it and usually ask for the recipe. However when I put it on the menu -- nobody buys it. This leads me to believe that all you gringos area afraid to try anything new. Change your damn attitude!! Give it a try! Ceviche is a wonderful summertime dish -- as an appetizer or light lunch or as an afternoon snack. You can serve it as a dip with tortilla chips or on crackers as a party snack, stuffed into an avocado half on a bed of mixed greens(no arugula) as a salad, as a tostada or as a seafood cocktail, hell you could probably wrap it in rice and seaweed and call it 'Mexican Sushi.' Hey, it's really easy to make, the only equipment you need is a knife and a bowl.. hell, if you can squeeze a lime you can make ceviche that's as good as any in the world!!

PARTS LIST

FISH

any fresh white fish will do (at Felix' we generally use sea bass, but you can use whatever is available--scallops are wonderful and even octopus, shrimp, or calamari (squid) will work just fine). fresh lime juice...lemon juice will work too

SALSA MEXICANA

I don't have room here to give you a recipe (actually I do have room, but I'm the damn 'SALSA KING' and I don't feel like typing it out again. There's a great recipe for Salsa Mexicana on my web site (www.felixcabosanlucas.com) just click on 'recipes.' I think it's the very first one

CILANTRO

chopped

OKAY, LET'S ROCK 'N' ROLL

Cut your fresh raw fish into pieces (chopped really fine like hamburger is best for a dip--bigger pieces or thin mini-filets the size of a half dollar are best for a cocktail). Put the prepared fish in a bowl and cover with fresh lime juice - give it a stir, making sure that all the fish is in contact with the juice.

Put it in the fridge and go have a beer or call your mom or something, You will have ceviche in 15 minutes to an hour or so, depending on the size of the fish pieces. It's done when the fish has turned from translucent to opaque. If you use octopus or squid or shrimp it might take longer.

When it is all very white and cooked looking Pour off the extra juice and add some Salsa Mexicana-- how much is up to you (you want it to look pretty with the red and green of the salsa and the white of the fish) Garnish with some cilantro and serve.

Then sit back and wait for the oohs and aahs.

In the Puerto Vallarta area they chop the fish very fine indeed and then when its finished marinating they squeeze out the lime juice in paper towels and serve it very dry. I personally just pour off the extra lime juice and leave it moist. To make a ceviche cocktail, leave a little of the lime juice and put the fish in a cocktail glass with some of your favorite shrimp cocktail sauce (might be a topic for a future newsletter). Garnish with a sprig of cilantro and a lime wedge. I guarantee that everyone will be suitably impressed and think you're a culinary genius, just don't tell them how easy it was, but do let me know how it turns out.

Tortilla Soup

Don't pay the ransom, I've escaped!!

Nah - I wasn't really kidnapped--- my stupid computer self destructed and I lost everything on it, including your addresses..............and that's why there has been no newsletter for such a long time. That and I just haven't felt like writing anything.

Anyway, I got a new computer, new programs, new everything and I hate it. I hate windows and I hate Netscape. A lot of time and energy and I think I salvaged most of the addresses -- I lost about a thousand or so.

If yours is one of the lost addresses, you won't receive this. So if you don't get this -- let me know and I'll put you right back on the list.

When I finally got back on line I had 9,127 new messages. Since I don't know near that many people, I assumed that a lot of you were writing because you missed me and my stupid newsletter ....

WRONG!

Exactly 3 of the messages were from someone known to me, the other 9,124 were trying to sell me Viagra, Extra Strength Viagra, New Improved Viagra, Super Viagra, Generic Viagara or Organic Viagra. I got to wondering how I got on all those stupid lists. I'm thinking' that one of you people blabbed - and you should be ashamed of yourself. There are some things that are best kept private. And besides, I don't need any kind of Viagra. I mean what good's a pestle with no mortar??

Now to the task at hand...

TORTILLA SOUP

I get lots and lots of requests for recipes, usually a straightforward request. However the requests for a Tortilla soup recipe often ask for an 'authentic' recipe. I assume this is so because every restaurant seems to make it differently. That’s because, I believe, there is no single 'authentic' recipe. Oh, there is some commonality in the recipes – they all call for crispy fried tortilla chips—they all call for chicken stock --they all use some kind of cheese and almost all call for avocado. Some are clear and others a beautiful ruby red. I like the way the red soup looks and that’s the way I do it. So without further ado I’m going to tell you how I make it at Felix’ and forevermore this will be known as the

'Authentic' Felix Tortilla Soup Recipe.

PARTS LIST

Chicken stock……..a couple of quarts - I think that’s 8 cups.

I make it from scratch at Felix’, but I see no reason you can’t use a canned stock, if you have one you like. If you want to make it from scratch just put a half chicken (I usually throw in a few whole cloves of garlic) in 2 quarts of water, bring it to a boil, turn down the heat and simmer it covered for about an hour. If there is a whole lot of fat floating on top you can skim some of it off. I like to see some globules floating though – adds ‘authenticity’. Even the very richest chicken stock tastes like dishwater until you add salt. So add salt until it tastes like soup then strain it through a colander, putting the chicken aside until it’s cool enough to handle. When it has cooled, remove the meat from the carcass- shred it or chop it into the size you like and reserve it for assembly.

If you want a more elegant broth you can strain it through some cheesecloth or even a kitchen towel (I rarely bother with this unless I’m expecting the President of Mexico or Madonna or somebody to drop in for dinner).

Crispy tortilla strips……..I cut mine into strips about 2 inches long and about the width of fettuccine, others prefer the wider lasagna width and some apostates even cut them into squares or triangles—hey, it’s okay with me. Gonna taste good however you cut them. Fry them in 350-degree oil till they are browned and crispy and put them aside until assembly.

Chicken……..This is optional. About half the tortilla soups I’ve eaten have chicken and about half not. We use the meat in ours and everyone knows we did not use a canned or concentrated or powdered stock.

Vegetables…..This is also optional. Most recipes do not call for any vegetables. I use veggies, because the first tortilla soup I ever ate (in Merida, Yucatan) did and thought it was ‘authentic’. It also reminds me of my mom’s chicken soup. For this amount of soup I would use 1 medium zucchini or chayote, 1 carrot, 1 small onion and one small poblano chile (seeded and deveined) cut into pieces about the size of a dime and parboiled ‘al dente’ then set aside for later assembly.

‘AL DENTE’?? That reminds me that it is time for my obligatory attack on those self-proclaimed celebrity chefs.WHAT A BUNCH OF IDIOTS!

If you watch the food channel you have noticed that every single one of these half-wits that gather every day for their self-congratulatory circle jerk uses the phrase ‘al dente’ at least twice each program. I was eating at a local Italian restaurant recently and there was a real big screw up in the kitchen…all the pasta was coming out crunchy – I mean really crunchy- I mean danger of cutting your gums crunchy…and not a single word of complaint. All around me idiots were saying ” Mmmmm.... ‘al dente’ ”

I don’t know about you but I’m sick and tired of raw carrots, crunchy spaghetti, and bloody chicken. To all those celebrity chefs I say "al dente" this!!!

So for future reference al dente does not mean RAW, al dente does not mean CRUNCHY and al dente does not mean BLOODY!! ALL al dente means is ‘NOT MUSHY’.

Now where was I? Oh yeah, tortilla soup.

Avocado……one medium avocado ripe, but not mushy cut into cubes about the size of your little fingernail should be enough for about six bowls

Dried chiles……..I use 4 or 5 guajillo chiles because I think they have the prettiest color but you can use pasilla, ancho, mulatto or whatever dried red chile you like. We’re using these guys for the color not for heat or flavor so slice them open and remove the seeds and veins. Barely cover the chiles with water and let them soak for 45 minutes or so, then run them through a blender (if you need more liquid add some of the reserved stock) If you’d like to no more about cooking with dried chiles go to my web site (www.felixcabosanlucas.com) click on recipes, then click on cooking with dried chiles. You’ll know more than any of your friends.

Cheese…………We use ‘queso fresco’ broken into pieces about the size of a kidney bean but most restaurants use grated jack cheese. Queso fresco is a fresh Mexican cheese, snow white in color and about the texture of feta cheese – I think it looks real pretty in the soup and besides when you get a big spoon full of jack cheese it’s like eating a bad cheese laden pizza. I don’t know about you but when I’m eating soup I don’t want to do a whole lot of chewing. So don’t overdo the cheese. It’s not available down here but I think a nice fresh mozzarella would be real good and in central Mexico they are apt to use a grated Chihuahua cheese (sort of like a white cheddar)

Garnish………..a dollop of sour cream and a sprig of cilantro although we use a sprig of epazote (a Mexican herb that is probably not available where you are).

PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER

Put the reserved chicken stock back on the stove and bring it to a simmer. Add the chicken, the pureed chiles and the parboiled veggies you want the soup to be very, very hot because we’re going to be adding a lot of room temperature ingredients and we wouldn’t want to serve cold soup—would we?

If you are using grated cheese, put about a heaping tablespoon in the bottom of each bowl. If you’re using a crumbled cheese wait for further instructions. Add the avocado and now, the crumbled cheese.

Okay, garnish and serve. Let me know how it turns out.

Oh, one more thing……this is a thin broth soup so the sour cream probably won’t float. So If I’m using a deep bowl- like at the restaurant – I don’t use the sour cream- don’t like the way it looks. If I’m using a wider shallow bowl the sour cream sits on top of the tortillas and looks real pretty with the sprig of something green. Keep it in mind.

Black Bean Salsa

Okay, now I'm back to one of my real favorites. This is a salsa that we've been making for years and finally it seems to be a very, very hip new thing. All the celebrity chefs seem to have finally caught on. This is an all purpose sort of salsa. You can mash it up with a fork and spread it on a baguette as a base for some great sandwiches (Especially good with avocado, tomato, mayo and breast of chicken). You can add a spoonful to your tacos or you can make great quesadillas with just this salsa and a slice of your favorite cheese. It is an inexpensive and filling dip for chips and it makes a beautiful garnish for almost any main dish. You can even serve it as a salad. I know I keep promising to do a whole newsletter on beans - as a matter of fact I'm going to make the next newsletter all about beans - and various bean salsas, salads and dips. Until then you're just gonna have to be satisfied with this quick and tasty Black Bean Salsa that uses canned black beans (trust me, no one will know).

PARTS LIST

1 can of black beans

Make sure you get whole beans not refried

1 small onion

Any kind of onion will do but a red onion might be prettier

1 clove of garlic

Or more, it's hard to use too much garlic as far as I'm concerned

cilantro

If you like cilantro use lots, if you hate it, use chopped green onions

1 small ripe red tomato

chiles

This is a matter of taste. You can use jalapeños or serranos or you can even use those canned green chiles

salad oil

Nothing fancy - use any neutral tasting oil, nothing strong tasting lime juice Or lemon juice. As a matter of fact I like to make it with vinegar as well.

LET'S DO IT!

Drain the beans and rinse them (The juice or gravy in canned beans has a muddy color and is sometimes real salty). Slice the onion into really, really thin rounds and separate them into rings. Add them to the beans. Chop the garlic and tomato and throw them in too. I like to slice the chiles into very, very thin, thin rounds but you can chop them if you want, and add them to the mix. Pour some oil over it all and stir until every thing is pretty well coated with oil and then add the lime juice (or lemon juice or the vinegar) and stir around some more. You don't have to worry about too much oil because the extra will just go to the bottom of the bowl and you don't have to worry about too much vinegar because once everything is coated with oil the extra vinegar will also go to the bottom of the bowl. Let it all marinate for at least a couple of hours. If you're going to use it as a salad - serve it cold. If you are going to use it as a salsa serve it room temperature. I guess you all think that I forgot about the cilantro or green onions............. wrong. We add the chopped cilantro or green onions right before we serve it because it looks crummy if it's been sitting in all that liquid for any length of time.

Let me know how it turns out.

Papaya Salsa

Well, it's finally happened. After telling you every time that the salsa I was giving you the recipe for was one of my favorites - I'm finally, do to reader demand, giving you the recipe to a Salsa that I just don't like very much. However, It is one of the most popular salsas in the restaurant and one that I receive lots of recipe request for. It's real pretty and it has a nice sweet and sour spicy taste to it. I just happen to be one of those people that doesn't like Papaya. If you like papaya give it a try and let me know what you think. Here's a little esoterica about papayas. Papaya seeds have a peppery taste and are often dried and ground and used as a spice. Also papaya is used as a meat tenderizer and a skin conditioner.

PARTS LIST

1 papaya

Pick a papaya just like you would choose a melon. You want one that is ripe but not over-ripe. It should show color - not be green - although they will ripen just sitting around the kitchen. It should have a fruity aroma. It should have a little give when pressed with the fingers. This recipe is for a papaya about the size of a small canteloupe so if your market only sells the jumbo kind use the extra as a fruit dish - sliced and served with a squeeze of lemon or lime it’s a very popular breakfast fruit.

1/2 small onion

1 clove of garlic

2 jalapeno chiles

The jalapeno chiles we’re getting right now are not hot at all - so we’ve been substituting serrano chiles

1/2 red bell pepper

cilantro

LET'S DO IT!!

Cut the papaya in half and remove the seeds. Peel and chop the papaya - don't use a food processor or blender. Chop the onion, the garlic and the chiles - seeds and all. Chop the red bell pepper and dice the cilantro. Mix it all together in a bowl with the lemon or lime juice and you have just made a delightful tropical salsa that goes well with poultry, fish or just as a dip with chips. I didn't give you an amount on the cilantro because some of you don't like cilantro at all, some love it and some just like it a little. So use your own judgment. I think the salsa really needs the green color so if you don't like cilantro use some green onion.

Cucumber Salsa

This is one of the most popular salsas at the restaurant. And it is what I call a 'BASIC'. Once you have this one down - with just slight variations in ingredients you can make dozens of great salsas. After the recipe I'm gonna give you some of the many variations. We are constantly changing our salsa selection at the restaurant but this is one that we always have on hand....by popular demand.

It's real popular for a number of reasons -

1. It has no chiles, so folks that don't like - or can't eat - the fiery stuff still get to enjoy the ritual....even little kids can enjoy it.

2. It tastes really good.

3. It actually seems to work to cool your mouth off after you get a bite of something too hot.

You'll notice that I play it pretty loose with the amounts of ingredients - that's on purpose. As I said this is not science - the amounts just don't matter very much. As a matter of fact if you stick to exact measurements it won't be as good - because some lemons/limes are sweeter/more sour than others.....sometimes the cilantro is stronger tasting than other times. So as you make the salsa - taste the salsa and adjust it to taste the way you like it. It just doesn't make any difference if it's a little more or less lemony. Also I'm giving you instructions for making a very small batch if you like it you can just double up on the ingredients and if you hate it you haven't lost much. You really should make and try a batch before you do a whole bunch and serve it to your friends. This salsa is great on chips ..... it's wonderful as a refreshing substitute for the same old boring tartar sauce and it's absolutely great on anything breaded and fried from shrimp and fish to fried chicken, jalapeno poppers or chicken fried steak. This one is pretty much a no-brainer but it's really cool and refreshing - perfect for summer time fare.

Here's what you're gonna need.

PARTS LIST

1 cucumber -- peeled

1 cup (or so) sour cream

1 bunch of cilantro

a couple of lemons or limes

a little salt - if you think it needs it

okay - let's rock and roll . Chop the cucumber and put it in a bowl. Now the food experts all tell you to scoop the seeds out.

Nonsense!

Use the whole thing. I slice the cucumber into thin strips the long way first - makes for easier chopping. Add the sour cream - one big spoonful at a time...stir. Look at it. Do you like the consistency? Hey, add some more sour cream... Now squeeze a lemon or a lime into the bowl...taste it. You want it to be lemony/limey, if it's not, squeeze another one. Chop the cilantro pretty fine and add it to the bowl.....stir it around, taste it - add some salt if you think it needs it, sprinkle something green (chives, parsley, cilantro, green onion - whatever) over it......... and bingo!

You have a great, refreshing salsa. Easy, huh?

VARIATIONS

1. Thin the salsa out with some milk and you have a wonderful salad dressing.

2. Use fresh or dried whole tarragon instead of cilantro and add some buttermilk, or for that matter regular milk, and you have 'Aunt Maggie's Tarragon Buttermilk Ranch Dressing" (if you use the dried tarragon - let it sit for a while before using it to let the flavor of the herb spread a little).

3. Take a table spoon or two of the salsa and put it in the blender with a jalapeno chile - give it a spin or two and add it back into the bowl. Taste it. Not hot enough? Do it again. Too hot? Add some more sour cream, cucumber, and lemon/lime.

4. Put the whole thing into the blender and whip it up good. It'll taste the same but it will be a real pretty green color. Go ahead and call it your 'Secret Cucumber and Cilantro Green Goddess Dressing" I won't tell.

5. Put a couple of cloves of garlic into the blender with a little of the sour cream and beat it up good -- add it to the salsa/dressing and make up a name for it.

6. If you want to use it in place of Tartar Sauce for fried fish - add some toasted slivered almonds and call it "Mom's Cucumber Cilantro Tartar Sauce Amandine"

7. Slice the cucumber into thin rounds instead of chopping it - add some very thinly sliced onion rings and a touch of some vinegar and serve it as a salad.

8. Use unflavored yogurt instead of sour cream and dill instead of cilantro .

9. Make a chicken salad - the best you've ever tasted - by using tarragon instead of cilantro and cutting the cucumber into bite sized chunks. Add cooked chicken cut into the same size as the cucumber and serve it in a half an avocado on top of a mixed green saladÉÉ.it's incredible, easy too.

10. If you use yogurt and dill - try adding some cayenne pepper. Very Indian.

So go ahead, fool around with this one, and if you come up with some more tasty variations - send them along. I'll print them up. Maybe with your help we can put some of these high priced waddies out of business.

Hot Carrots

There's about a million mexican cookbooks on the market — lots of pretty pictures — exotic ingredients that you order by computer from some email Yuppie Food Nazi in a small village outside of Santa Fe, with a kitchen that would put Betty Crocker to shame — Convection ovens , microwaves, ricers, dicers, slicers, presses, smokers, processors, food mills, rotisseries, corers, parers, seeders, pressure cookers, poachers, broilers, boilers and steamers --- hell, if you have all that stuff and know how to use it, you probably don't need to read this recipe.

But if you just want to learn how to make some Hot Carrots , you know like you see on the table in almost every single Mexican restaurant, read on...

PARTS LIST

A dozen or so carrots

cleaned and sliced into 1/4 inch strips —I think they look prettier cut on the diagonal.

6 or so Jalapeño Chiles

cleaned and sliced into strips the long way — I leave the stems on — makes it look authentic.

Two Medium Onions

peeled, cut in half and sliced the same thickness as the carrots

3 or 4 Bay Leaves

Dried Oregano

1 teaspoon (whole not ground)

White Vinegar

1 cup (go ahead use the cheapest stuff you can find)

Water

2 cups

LET'S DO IT!!!

Put everything except the Oregano into a pot ( It's best to use a stainless, cast or coated pan because the vinegar may discolor some cookwear).

If there is not enough liquid to cover, add more-----1 part vinegar to 2 parts water---bring to a boil and simmer for a few minutes.

Turn off the stove, add the oregano, put a lid on it and let it cool.

Bingo, Hot Carrots!

If the Carrots are too crunchy for your taste you can bring them back to a boil. If they are too mushy --- hey, next time don't simmer them so damn long.

These Carrots last about forever in the fridge, and the longer they sit, the hotter they get.

1. Leave out the Carrots and just try it with a half dozen sliced Onions — but add a slice or two or three of beet and a couple of tablespoons of sugar — when it's cooled take out the beets and you have some very pretty spicy pickled Onions. Great on Tacos, Tostadas,Burgers and Grilled Chicken Sandwiches.

2. When I make the Carrots at home, after they cool I add some peeled Hard Boiled Eggs. In a week or so I have some Hot Pickled Eggs.

3. Put a whole bunch of peeled Garlic Cloves or unpeeled for that matter in with the Carrots.

4. It works with Carrots — it also works with Cauliflower, Green Beans, Zucchini, Red and Green Peppers and probably a lot of other stuff I haven't thought of.

Corned Beef Hash

Something a little different.



I originally started this newsletter in self-defense because I got really tired of answering so many individual requests for salsa recipes. Because my restaurant has a salsa bar with 30 or 40 salsas every day, I got the reputation around Cabo as being the Salsa guy. So for the first couple of years I did nothing but salsa recipes. That led to a show on The Food Network, where I was dubbed the ‘Salsa King’ by the celebrity chef du jour. That led to appearances on TV in Reno where I demonstrated salsa making techniques in my disguise as ‘THE SALSA KING’. Then someone at chile-pepper magazine decided to do a seven page article on me called ‘Meet the Salsa King’ I guess someone at ABC-TV in Chicago saw the article because they got in touch with me and came down and shot an interview that was shown in Chicago on Super Bowl Sunday. I even get asked for my autograph occasionally. So I may be the ‘Salsa King’ in Reno and Chicago but you guys know I’m just an old hippie who is a real good cook and has a no bullshit attitude about food.

Anyway, as I grew bored writing about salsas and got more and more inquiries about Mexican food in general, the newsletter seemed to evolve into nothing more than an occasional recipe and me attacking all those self-proclaimed ‘Celebrity’chefs and pushing my own cooking philosophy ……..“Cooking is fun and cooking is easy…………if it were difficult or took any brains at all, the human race would have died out centuries ago”.



For most of my restaurant life I have had award winning breakfast restaurants. Mama’s Royal Café has won ‘Best Of’ awards in Marin County, Sonoma, Berkeley, and Julian California. I was recently told by the lady who does the restaurant reviews for the prestigious Frommer’s guide that Mama’s in Cabo was in her estimation the best breakfast place in the whole country. The best place in a whole country—now that’s pretty cool. Which leads us, in a round about way, to the subject of this newsletter.



My favorite breakfast.



At Mama’s we’re pretty high-toned – serving 8 or 9 variations of eggs Benedict including one that uses crab cakes in place of English muffins. We have crepes Florentine with hollandaise sauce, a jillion omelets, French toast stuffed with cream cheese and topped with mangoes and pecans flambé in orange liqueur – and if you feel like something Mexican we make Huevos Divorciados or Encobijadas, Tortillas de huevo and a raft of other regional dishes. We squeeze all our own juices and grind our own coffee. I do all that fancy stuff for you guys but my own favorite breakfast is plain simple hash and eggs with some home-fries and a well-toasted English muffin. Imagine my shock and disappointment when I got to Mexico and discovered there isn’t even a word for ‘hash’ in Spanish. What’s more there is no such thing as corned beef in Mexico. After I’d been here for a few years, a local company started importing Corned beef from the US. I was all over that in a hot New York minute. In no time at all my menu featured “THE ONLY HOME-MADE CORNED BEEF HASH IN THE WHOLE DAMN COUNTRY” Pretty cool, eh? Then about a year or so ago you guys had a ‘Mad Cow’ scare and Mexico banned the import of US beef. What a bummer! I started making hash out of the pot roast we used for machaca. It was good and is still on my menu but ‘Roast Beef Hash’ just doesn’t have the same customer appeal as the traditional ‘corned beef hash’ – although I still had the only hash in Cabo. About a year later a local supermarket started selling those little cans of corned beef that you open with a key that’s stuck to the top of the can. I figgered ‘what the hell’ and gave it a try. For dinner or for hot sandwiches it wasn’t near as good as the real homemade but in my hash it was virtually indistinguishable from the real deal. As a matter of fact I have had more requests for the recipe since I started using the canned. 



There are probably as many recipes for hash as there are people making hash. I personally have made hash from corned beef, pastrami, pot roast, left over pork chops, chicken, turkey, fish, crab and my very favorite - ham. I have an old friend who has a popular restaurant in Sonoma Calif. His homemade corned beef hash features the meat and potatoes cut into large cubes (about the size of the dice in a monopoly game). It’s good but I much prefer the meat to be chopped (or shredded and chopped) very fine and the potatoes also very fine (even coarsely mashed). I use no herbs or weird spices in my hash. I also don’t add onions or peppers, but I won’t object if you do. I use just meat, potatoes, salt, black pepper and chopped parsley and I think it’s the best around. I do use some garlic in the crab hash and a little chopped fresh basil in the chicken hash. The following recipe is the way I’m now making it at the restaurant using canned corned beef. So here’s how to make some great homemade corned beef hash without having to cook up a big old brisket – and you can make it on the spur of the moment (if you happen to have a leftover potato sitting around).



Quick and easy corned beef hash

PARTS LIST

1 can of corned beef………………….I shred it with my fingers , then chop it pretty fine



Cooked potato…………………………You want the same amount of potatoes as meat At the restaurant I use the boiled potatoes I have on hand for home fries, but left over flaky baked potatoes are even better. You can chop the potatoes into any size cube that pleases you, but I coarsely mash them leaving lots of lumps.



Chopped parsley…………………….... I don’t measure but I use a generous amount – at least a couple tablespoons, Don’t be chintzy, this is not a garnish. It is an important part of the recipe.



A little melted butter……………………fat is a very important ingredient in hash and it is not even mentioned in most hash recipes. If you use real corned beef or ham the meat should be about 20% finely - very finely - chopped fat. If I’m making chicken hash I skim the fat off the water I boiled the chicken in and add it to the mix. Canned corn beef, fish and crab don’t have enough fat so I dribble in some melted butter…mmmm good. I also fry my hash in butter and you should too.



Salt and pepper………………………… to taste. If you’re using real corned beef or ham – taste it first because it may have enough salt.



Okay, let’s put it together



Just mix the meat, potatoes, parsley and melted butter in a bowl – taste it – and add salt and pepper. Put a generous amount of butter in a skillet and get it hot over medium-high heat (or high-medium heat if you prefer) and add the hash. You can add a little oil to the butter if you are scared of burnt butter. Fry it until it’s nice and browned on the bottom and crispy around the edges. Don’t pester it! If you keep moving it around and fooling with it - it ‘s not going to brown properly. Oh, you can either cook it in one big batch or form it into patties --- your call. When it’s browned and crisped to your liking turn it and do the other side. Bing!! You just made some great hash. Top it with a couple of poached or fried eggs and you have a world class breakfast. Ooops, I almost forgot. If you’re gonna use left over fish or crab you can mix a raw beaten egg into the mix – form it into patties and dip them in bread crumbs. Call them ‘Alma’s Kountry Kitchen Kroquettes’ – they make a great and economical dinner dish.

Tell me how it turns out
Spencer

Carnitas

Carnitas (literally translated as 'little meats') are also found in every part of Mexico. Even the smallest villages will usually have someone that makes carnitas- at least on the weekends.

As a main dish with a fresh salsa mexicana or salsa verde topped with come chopped cilantro, or chopped or shredded as a filling for tacos or quesadillas, carnitas are wonderfull. You can find lots of recipes for carnitas in cookbooks but if you have ever eaten really good carnitas all of these recipes will be a disappointment.

"Why?", you ask.

Well, I'm gonna tell you why. Carnitas are simply deep fried pork - crispy on the outside and fallin' off the bone tender and juicy on the inside. I love them and tried for years to make carnitas for my restaurant that were as good as they served in the big carnitas restaurants..... not possible.

The reason is that all the big carnitas places have huge cauldrons, big enough to fry pieces of pork the size of a turkey. The result is that by the time the outside is beautifully browned and crispy the inside is cooked just right. When you try to cook small amounts to order by the time the outside is brown and crispy the inside is overcooked and dry.

Hey, it's still good and if you've never had the real thing you'll probably like it a lot.

I stole this recipe from an old guy in Rosarita Beach - and while it's not exactly the same as the big guys, it's really good... and you don't have to deep fry a whole pig. It's not exactly health food ... but what the hey! This version is wonderful for summertime cookouts, way easier than ribs or chicken and most of the work is done in advance.

PARTS LIST

A big chunk of pork (I'd say 6 or 7 pounds minimum). Bone in or boneless? - doesn't matter, get whatever is cheapest. Lean or fatty? - fatty is probably better. Cheap or expensive? - the cheaper the better (the more expensive cuts such as loin is probably too lean and will tend to dry out).

1 or 2 onions Cut in quarters. You don't even have to peel them/it.

1 bunch of cilantro You don't even have to chop it.

a handful of fresh chiles Jalapeno or serranos will be just fine.

Coke or Pepsi - No diet stuff please.

water

LET'S DO IT!

Put everything into a large covered pan and cover it with a 50/50 mix of water and cola -- I know, I know, but trust me. The cola has something in it that does something really nice to the meat. Bring it to a boil then turn it down to a simmer - put the cover on and simmer slowly 'til the meat is really, really tender. Probably a minimum of an hour and a half maybe more... check it. If the liquid boils away add more coke/water. Take the pork out and let it cool. If you wrap it and keep it in the fridge it lasts for a long time.

So now that you have this big chunk of tender pork, how do you turn it into Carnitas? There's a couple of ways.

My favorite way is to just throw it on the BBQ - when it's all crispy and brown on one side turn it over and brown the other. Since it's already cooked it takes very little time. You want it real crispy on the outside. Chop it up and serve it with some hot corn and flour tortillas and some fresh Salsas and Guacamole and maybe some beans (recipe coming up next issue) some green onions that you've thrown on the barby and some radishes and ---- hey, baby you've got a real Mexican cookout going. The other way is to cut the pork into billiard ball size pieces and deep fry them 'til they're real crispy on the outside --- chop them into bite size pieces and serve them.

Guacamole Salsa

I think that this salsa is served at almost every taqueria (taco stand) in Mexico, north, south, east and west. It gives you the great taste of guacamole but it is really inexpensive to make..... easy too. As a matter of fact it is probably the easiest to make of all salsas and goes well with virtually everything. This should be a thin, pourable salsa - about as thick as a good, hearty split pea soup. Mild, medium or hot, you decide.

MILD

This one is so easy you don't need an ingredient list. Just take a ripe avocado and put it in a blender (after you peel it and take the pit out) and add water slowly 'til you have the right consistancy. Taste it and maybe add a little salt.

MEDIUM

Just the same as above but add a jalapeno or serrano chile to the blender.

HOT

The same as above but add more chiles.

A LITTLE FANCIER

1. Add a half an onion, a clove or two of garlic and some cilantro to the blender.

2. Add the above plus a couple of raw tomatillos (husked and washed).

MY FAVORITE

Take a half dozen tomatillos, a couple of whole jalapenos, half an onion and a couple of cloves of garlic --- put them in a small lidded pan with a little water. Let them cook slowly until the chiles and tomatillos have turned from a bright green to an olive drab. Let them cool and put them in the blender (save the liquid) with a ripe avocado or two. You want this salsa to be pourable so if it's too thick - thin it with the water you cooked the chiles in. This salsa is great on enchiladas - as a matter of fact it is always served over Enchiladas Suizas and the enchiladas that are served with 'Carne Asada ala Tampiqueno'

Hot Smoky Guacamole

PARTS LIST

a couple of avocados

some smoky hot oil - from the last newsletter. If you didn't make any, you should it's really good.

Let's get cooking!

Just mash the avocado with a little hot oil and some of the chile flakes from the bottom of the oil. Add a little salt and as far as I'm concerned you can claim it as an old family original.

Guacamole

This wonderful salad predates the European presence in the western hemisphere. It's beginnings are lost in pre-history. The word guacamole comes to us directly from the Aztecs. Guacamole is a combination of the Nahuatl (the Aztec language) words ahuacatl (avocado) and molli (mixture). I think it's safe to assume that Aztec Kings were eating this wonderful dish when my European ancestors were still painting their faces blue and throwing rocks at each other.

Guacamole is great as a dip with tortilla chips or as a salad or as a filling for hot corn or flour tortillas. It's super as a garnish with grilled beef or chicken, or try a dollop on your enchiladas or chimichangas, or as a spread on your burgers or chicken sandwich. I can't think of anything that guacamole does not go with.

If you've been reading these poor efforts of mine you know that I think there are no rules in cooking. If you like it and it's pretty and it tastes good..... yeah! So, what follows are not rules --- they are merely suggestions, but if you want real good authentic guacamole you'd better pay attention.

In Mexico the most common, and I think the best, Guacamole is just avocado mashed coarsely - you want lumps - don't blend it or even whisk it - add some finely chopped onion and tomato and you have just made yourself some really good guacamole. No one in the world can make it any better. Different? Sure. But not better.

But, you ask, "where are the chiles?" "and the garlic?" "and the salt?" "and the lemon juice and cilantro"? You can add any of these or all of these or none of these and still have great Guacamole. Experiment! At the restaurant I make the guacamole by adding Salsa Mexicana to mashed avocado and it's really good. If you're making some Mexican food you are probably going to have some salsas on the table and the food is generally spicy. I like to have a non-hot guacamole at the table so those who don't like it hot can still enjoy the ritual.

The Mexicans think that if you put the avocado pits in the guacamole it keeps it from turning color - I don't believe it but it looks really cool.

Others think that lemon or lime juice keeps it from turning - I don't believe that either but I like the taste. I think that whatever you do it's gonna start turning dark almost immediately so make it right before you use it.

PARTS LIST

2 ripe avocados ---- I think that in the USA, Haas avocados are the first choice. Those bright green, Florida avocados are really too watery to make good guacamole, but if that's all that's available - what the hey.

a half a small onion - chopped finely

1 small ripe tomato (I don't care what the food gurus say - you do not have to peel and seed the tomato.)

Mash the avocado coarsely, you want lumps - a fork works well or if you're making lots, a potato masher. Mix in the tomato and onion. There! You've made authentic guacamole.

SOME OTHER OPTIONS

Some finely chopped fresh jalapeño or serrano chiles Some chopped cilantro A little salt Some lime or lemon juice You could char the tomato in a dry pan - gives a nice smoky taste

A REALLY SLEAZY LITTLE TRICK

I have a Mexican friend La Paz who owns a little neighborhood restaurant. His prices are ridiculously low and yet he gives out enormous amounts of guacamole on virtually every plate. When I asked how he could afford to do that with his prices, he showed me how to make pretty good guacamole out of mashed potatoes. So - for those times when avocados are really expensive and a bunch of people that you don't really like that much are coming over to watch football or something..... here you go. You didn't hear this from me though..... I'll deny everything.

Get a bunch of mashed potatoes - really well mashed or the white lumps will give you away. Better yet, use instant. Add green food coloring a little at a time to the potatoes, stirring until you have about the right color. Add one mashed avocado with lots of real authentic green avocado lumps and lots of tomato, chiles, onion, cilantro, garlic and lime/lemon juice.

Even Emeril won't know.